I Completely Trust in God…Or Do I?
(Published on Facebook on March 27, 2020)
About a week and a half ago, I went to the dry cleaners to pick up clothes. I was worried I would never see my clothes again if they had to shut down. So I ventured over there and ended up speaking to this wonderful lady. She commented on how calm I seemed to be because so many were coming in worried about distance and touching things. I told her I wasn’t worried. I knew where I was going if I died. I left there feeling at peace.
Fast forward only a few days later. I got a notice that over the weekend there would be a complete shutdown. I had only 2-3 days to prepare. I decided that even if it wasn’t true, I would still have enough food in my house for 1-2 weeks and I wouldn’t have to go out very much. So I went into mission mode!
I put on my battle gear, a lovely surgical mask and I dove into the craziness. I stood in line at Costco that wrapped around to the back of the building. I got most of what I needed, even passed on something I wanted feeling like I didn’t need that much and I could get it elsewhere. Big mistake. I then went to Trader Joe’s to get my son his much loved gluten free pancakes. Three boxes left. I took two, having sympathy for the next GF shopper. Then I ventured into Vons to get more stuff, only to realize that neither of these places had that one item I left behind at Costco. Now I’m really kicking myself. I feel the anxiety rise. My list is not complete. So what do I do?
What any sane person would do…go back to Costco the next day.
Yes. I went back. I was determined to get my coveted item…corn tortillas. Of course you can’t go into Costco and just get one thing, so I picked up some more items we may need. I finally get home, put away the items, sit down and then it hit me.
I felt this overwhelming sense of peace. I accomplished my goal. I was prepared for whatever may come our way. I have food for my family. I conquered. I did it.
God was quick to remind me, in that so gentle way of his. “Why did you need to do all of this to find peace? Do you not trust me?”
OUCH.
I trust God with the big things, like my salvation and where I am going when I die, but I am not trusting him in the little things. The daily things. My need for control in my everyday doings quickly pushes God out of the throne of my life and puts me in it. And with me in the throne, I will quickly fail.
“Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him and he will help you.” Psalm 35 (NLT).
I love this translation. Commit EVERYTHING YOU DO. Yes, we need to prepare for this virus. We need to DO so many things to keep ourselves safe. Was I committing everything I was DOING to the care of my savior? Was I putting the DOING over the BEING? Was I trusting in the DOING more than my Creator?
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
How have you been responding to this virus? Are you stockpiling or hoarding? Do you feel this need to have all the essentials in the house to feel secure? Are you always doing the disinfecting dance? Do you feel more secure spraying everything down, taking constant showers or wearing protective gear wherever you go? Are you plowing through your day giving not one second of thought to the invisible enemy that is out there? Do you deny or lessen the severity of the virus because if you really let it sink in you would be overwhelmed or even scared and that is not a place you want to go?
These are all different reactions on how we are coping with this crisis. And God knows that within our human nature we will worry, we will have anxiety and fear. He knows us so well he tells us about 356 times in the Bible not to be afraid. I believe he tells us that so many times because we have a tendency to get sucked into the fear vortex. That deep seated fear, that motivates everything we do, wants to sit at the throne of our lives. Daily we need to bring those fears to the cross and give them over to our gracious King. Because if we don’t, the DOING will become our source of comfort and our peace. And then what happens when we can’t DO anymore?
What happens if we lose a job and the money isn’t there to stockpile our homes?
What happens if you run out of disinfectant, gloves or the masks disappear?
What happens if the virus you were ignoring is now residing inside of you?
Your source of peace and comfort is no longer there.
I love what Dr. Tony Evans said,
“Peace doesn’t mean that you will not have problems. Peace means that your problems will not have you.”
As we deal with this crisis in our lives may we not let the problems of this world overwhelm us, may we not find comfort and security in our DOINGS, but instead BE STILL and know that we have a God that is bigger than the virus. His desire is to bring us comfort, peace and joy.“
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6,7
Lord, may you ALWAYS occupy the throne of my life. And thank you that I was able to make yummy enchiladas out of my corn tortillas.
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