Lip Service
“God First.”
This was the motto of my college, a motto they strived to live by. Just like the rest of us Christian believers.
All of us would readily agree that God should always be first. I would always say, “God first. Husband second. Children third,” mirroring what I would hear so often from other Christians, church leaders, books, etc.
Even God himself, told us in Exodus 20, in the ten commandments, not to have other gods before him. Or to worship other images. Easy peasy God. I got this one, picturing in my mind bronze statues of idols or the Greek gods.
I would never do that. I would never worship anyone or anything besides you God. Ever. My head knew it and my heart knew it.
Or so I thought…
I knew in my heart I could never literally bow down to another god, but I never thought that my heart would be the the very thing that would cause me to betray my one true God.
Leslie Vernick, author and speaker, calls them idols of the heart. And they can be very subtle and sneak into our lives without us even realizing it.
Attending a Christian college, I was placed in a comforting environment that constantly reminded me of my number one priority, God. It was easy to make God my number one, especially since my family was far away and I wasn’t married yet. His presence in my life was enough to satisfy the thirst of my soul and completely fill my heart.
But then, one day, I met my future husband. As I slowly made room in my heart for my husband, I unknowingly began to push out my one True Love.
Then we had kids.
More room needed in my heart.
Pushing, squeezing, making more room.
Looking back, in my heart and mind, God was always my number one, but if I am truly honest with myself…He wasn’t my top priority. Because if you checked my calendar, the things that occupied my mind and where my attentions lied it would be obvious that God was not my number one priority. It was just lip service.
You see, God was still a big part of my life, but my devotion and time with Him wasn’t the same. I stopped praying as much as I used to. I stopped listening to praise music. It was as if I began to go through the motions but my former intimacy with my Creator had slowly faded.
What happens when we push God out of our hearts, even if it is just partially?
We open ourselves up to Satan. To the lies. To the fears. To whatever takes us further from the light. And that is exactly what happened. Satan knew my weaknesses. He knew the lies I told myself from my childhood wounds. And he fed them. And fed them.
My fear of abandonment and my fear of not mattering to others caused me to place my husband, children and the approval of others in a place of importance that should have been only reserved for my Lord.
They had become idols in my heart.
An idol is anything that takes the place of God in our hearts. It is anyone or anything that we rely on for comfort or strength instead of relying on God’s comfort and strength. It is the importance we place on others opinions instead of God’s.
We become other-centered or self-centered instead of God-centered.
When we allow ourselves to become other-centered we are ruled by others’ opinions and approval. When we allow ourselves to become self-centered, we are ruled by our fleshly desires. Both are ruled by our fears. Our pride. Our weaknesses.
As I went through life, my fears began to control me. Performance became more important. My voice diminished so I wouldn’t cause conflict. My desire to have a good relationship with my husband and children, and the fear of not having it impacted how I reacted or treated them at times. I began to go through life on my own strength, and I was slowly weakening.
The anxiety slowly built up over time.
My joy began to diminish.
I felt like I was just trudging through life.
I became someone I didn’t recognize anymore.
The idols of our hearts slowly, and sometimes subtly, keep us from the intimate relationship that God desires to have with us. A relationship that will bring us peace, serenity, joy and contentment regardless of what we may go through in life.
The good news, is that God is always trying to bring us back to his flock. Like the good shepherd, He will go out to find the one. He will go out to find you and to find me. To bring us back to that desired relationship.
“He told them this parable. “Which of you men, if you had one hundred sheep, and lost one of them, wouldn’t leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one that was lost, until he found it? When he has found it, he carries it on his shoulders, rejoicing.” Luke 15:3-5
Years ago, I struggled with what God wanted for me in regards to my profession, calling, and passions. Doors had significantly opened for me but they were just as quick to shut. I was confused, but in that confusion God brought me closer to Him. I began to lean in to him more, pray more, read more and the worship music came back. My one true love began to become more of a priority in my life again. The living water began to saturate my soul again and quench my thirst. And I began to slowly come back to life.
He wants to do the same for you. He wants to bring you back to his flock, to nourish your soul, to give you joy and peace and to build your strength.
What are the idols of your heart that keep you from being fully saturated with God’s living water? What are the fears in your life that are controlling you?
Friends, it is not easy to rid yourselves totally of idols, especially if you are in a season of child rearing. Our children tend to consume us. I want to encourage you to take some time for self-care and for reconnecting with your Savior, the One who will ultimately give you the strength to get through the season. Lean into Him. Bring the prayer time back, read your Bible, sing praise songs while cooking dinner. Ask Him to meet you in the place you are at. He will be there with open arms.
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
Every day I must surrender my idols at the cross. And to be honest, some days are harder than others. My need for control definitely sneaks up on me.
But the one thing I know for sure, without a doubt, is that my heavenly Father, is always there, rooting for me. Waiting for me to lean into His strong arms where only He can give me rest. Thank you Abba Father.
Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels.com
Feature photo by Aaron Burden.
Comments