My Hummingbird Friend
I curled up on my couch covered by a cozy blanket, and I cried. And cried. And cried. I probably could have stayed there all day, but the logical part of me said, “Get up. You need to move. You know this is what you need to do to get out of this hole.”
So I got up and went to the kitchen and stood in front of our window looking out at our new hummingbird feeder, a source of joy for me. Our old one finally bit the dust and a few days later we put up the new one, but by then our sweet little birds had found a new place to go.
I looked out longingly for a new friend to show up. To bring me just a small amount of joy that was so needed in that moment. And in my despair, I cried out to God, “Please bring me a hummingbird. Just this once. Please give me that moment.” Tears once again poured out of me as I stood there waiting in anticipation.
Nothing.
“It’s ok God. I know you still love me and are with me.”
I was prepared to do the next right thing.
For me, it was to turn on worship music and lean into my Creator.
Looking back on this moment, it reminded me of a time when my daughter was playing soccer, she got hurt out on the field. My first motherly instinct was to run out there to help her. But something inside of me said, “Wait. Let’s see what she does.” The coach went out there to tend to her and walked her back to the sidelines where I was waiting. She was so strong, brave and ready to go back out there again. I looked upon her with amazement and pride.
I wonder if God does that to us sometimes.
There have been many times in my life when I was hurt, sad, or angry and didn’t feel God’s presence. I didn’t feel His comfort and felt alone. Many times I would even ask if He really cared or loved me.
What if He was looking upon me with love and concern in His eyes and said…
“Wait. Let’s see what she will do. Let’s see if she will trust in Me and do the next right thing.”
As I was about to step away from the window, the decision to do the next right thing and confirming my love for my Father present in my mind, my hummingbird friend came to visit. I was flooded with gratitude and an overwhelming feeling of being loved and comforted by my Holy Savior. He reminded me once again that He is there and will always be there for me. He may not answer sometimes, but it is in those moments where I am reminded of the times He did meet me. He did answer my prayer. He did comfort me. He did love on me.
I hold onto those moments and remind myself when I don’t feel Him with me, He is still there, watching from the sidelines seeing if I will do the next right thing. And when I do. He is right there cheering for me because I made the decision to come to Him in my pain.
And oh how our sweet Jesus loves it when we choose Him!
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