Reclaiming Ezer
“If you are a wife, you were created to fill a need, and in that capacity you are a “good thing,” a helper suited to the needs of a man…You were created to make him complete, not to seek personal fulfillment parallel to him.” (Debi Pearl, Created to Be His Help Meet)
“A help meet is one that realizes she was made to serve her husband, rather than him being made to serve her…A help meet is one who regards her husband as her lord and master…A help meet is one who freely submits not only her will, but also her body to her husband for his pleasure.” (BiblicalGenderRoles website)
These are the types of messages I heard growing up in the church. I don’t ever remember someone blatantly saying these things to me, but it was this underlying feeling that I felt weaved into the books, sermons and messages I would hear from the church community and even our society.
I remember a day many years ago, that these thoughts, feelings, beliefs, formed by those messages, rose up inside of me causing me to have this moment of crisis, and I began to question God.
One day, my husband said something to me, and my interpretation of it broke my heart. I quickly left the house to go for a walk to process what I had just heard.
As I walked around the block, tears streamed down my face. I eventually stopped and sat on a rock. Taking out my notebook, I began to write.
“My heart hurts Lord. My husband doesn’t want me to do what I’m doing…I love him Lord and he is my spiritual leader and if he wants me to quit I will but I don’t understand how you can give me a huge passion to be in this industry and my husband not approve.” (Journal entry)
This was the first time I felt conflicted with my desire to follow my husband’s lead and my desire to follow God’s leading. Luckily, my husband and I worked through this moment, and I didn’t have to make that choice. But it began to put a crack in my once held beliefs about who I was as a woman, a wife and my role in marriage.
I would like to share with you what I have been learning on my journey in regards to who I am as a woman and how God sees me, not how “the church” or the world sees me. It has been rather eye-opening for me, but it comes with obvious controversy. I would encourage you to read with an open mind and heart, do your own study on the topic (feel free to click on the links in the text to read the articles I quote), always put God’s Word as the ultimate Truth, and let the Holy Spirit speak to you.
Please know that my heart will always be for us to grow closer to Him, to be more like Jesus and to love others well.
Let’s start with who we were created to be.
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
The word “helper” is where we get off track. In our Western culture, we think of helper as an assistant, lower in status or position, but the Hebrew word does not convey that message.
The word helper comes from the Hebrew word ‘ezer. According to Skip Moen, in Guardian Angel, “‘Ezer is derived from the verb ‘azar. The noun ‘azara is also derived from this verb. It means “enclosure,” a particularly interesting nuance of the Semitic idea of help. The various expressions from the root word include military aid, social and moral support, deliverance, salvation, enclosure (protection) and general assistance.” (p. 54)
‘Ezer is not a common word in scripture. It is only used in the Bible 21 times. The first two times were used when God created woman. Three other times the word was used in describing powerful nations that Israel would call upon. The other 16 times the word ‘ezer is used to describe God as a helper. Look at it used in this verse.
We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help (ezer) and our shield. Psalms 33:20
God is the helper of His chosen people.
The translation of ezer is help or helper, but if we put aside our Western culture mindset and look at how this word is used in the other verses, it is clear that helper is more than someone who just assists or waits for orders.
I love what the website Hebrew Word Lessons says in their article, Helper: Defining the Ezer Woman.
And so God created woman to be an ezer to man. But this word, translated as helper, is not about making brunch and darning a man’s socks. This word means an ally or rescuer, someone who comes running when the people cry out for help. An ezer drops everything to save those in need… An ezer is a hero. Sarah E. Fisher, Hebrew Word Lessons
I don’t know about you, but when I heard the real meaning behind “helper” I felt empowered. Not in a “now I’m going to exert my power over you” kind of feeling, but one of worth and value.
I was also reminded of the verse Genesis 1:27, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
We are made in the image of God. Together with men, women are just as equally created in the image of God.
“It is not good for man to be alone because alone the Image of God is incomplete.” (Jeffrey Curtis Poor, The True Meaning of Helpmate)
Women were not created “to complete man” like Pearl suggests. We were created to complete the image of God.
Once Eve came into the picture, God’s creation was finally complete and good. “Havvah (woman) is the last of God’s creations. Sarna notes there are no other ancient creation stories that include the creation of the first woman. Hebrew is unique in this. Furthermore, the Hebrew text gives priority to the woman’s creation, spending six times more textual detail on this event than on the creation of the man. The origin of woman is the capstone of all God’s work, signaling that the entire plan is now complete.” (Moen, p. 50)
We are made for so much more than our society or our church culture has led us to believe.
We are a necessary piece in God’s plan.
We are God’s image bearers.
We are strong.
We are warriors.
We are heroes.
We are Ezers.
Let’s reclaim it.
Lord, help us to see ourselves as the valuable and worthy women you so purposefully made. As we continue digging deep into who you made us to be, open our hearts and eyes to YOUR TRUTH.
Join me next time as we explore the word “kenegdo” and what it means to be “suitable for him.” You can read it HERE. Subscribe to my blog to make sure you get notified when the next posts comes out.
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